Chloe Bella

by antoinette
(maple shade)

There were days I wanted to end my life thinking that nobody would even miss me. But inside, I knew my Chloe would. She saved my life in more ways than one…

Chloe was my first real pet that I have any memories with. Even though my dad brought home other pit bulls before her and I brought home many stray pets, there was just something about Chloe.

A birthday gift for my brother, she was a beautiful tiger striped brindle. Half pit bull and half mastiff, she was eight week old when she entered my life. Boy did she steal my heart! I named her Chloe after my favorite show. The whole family just loved her with everything we had. We later found out she was inbred and lots of people said we should put her down. She was a risk. But, we didn't care we loved Chloe and it just meant we had to be extra careful. She was so loveable with us that we couldn't see her any other way!

And boy was she spoiled! She didn't even know what a crate looked like! She slept with my parents EVERY night. When they went to bed, she followed right behind. When she went to the vet, she went after hours. We would all joke that Chloe was Miss Hollywood.

This dog was with me through every major event in my life. I suffer from clinical depression and I admit there were days I wanted to end my life thinking nobody would even miss me, and then I’d think of Chloe. She saved my life in many ways. She was the one thing my family and I bonded over. Our love for her was huge and kind. She was the most loyal dog I ever met and she made me feel safe and protected.

She taught me how to love without wanting anything in return, and her sweet kisses were something I looked forward to every morning, afternoon and night. I have always been a huge animal lover but something about this breed has just capture my heart.

Thanks to Chloe, she has made me realize I want nothing more than to educate and advocate for the pit bull breed. Volunteer at animal shelters and hopefully have a job rescuing them. She gave me more than I will ever be able to repay and it is because of the love and devotion she gave my family, I will forever be indebted.

Sadly, when she was about 11, she became very sick. It was so sudden and unexpected. Chloe was going into kidney failure. I knew by just looking deep into those soulful eyes that she was ready to leave me.

She taught me all I needed to know and she was ready to cross over to Rainbow Bridge. I remember telling her that it's ok if you need to go to sleep now. The next day, my mom called me and said the vet wanted to put her down, she was suffering. I cried and cried. I was mad thinking I couldn't be with her at the end but I made it to the animal hospital in the nick of time. Looking into those eyes of her I said my goodbyes, she kissed me and I walked out of the room.

I wanted to remember Chloe happy and wagging her tail. She was the very best dog in the entire would. My love for her is still very strong and it will always be.

We are looking for a new dog because the pain of not having her not around is just too big. I wrestled with the idea because it just felt "too soon" but Chloe was just so loved and had an amazing life. I believe she would want us to give that to another homeless dog. She would want us to save another pit from possibly being put down or abused. She left me with amazing memories that I will someday be able to share with my own family… And a love so strong for the entire breed that I couldn't even put it into words. She gave my life purpose when I felt I had none.

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Jun 12, 2012
If it should be...
by: Wendy Tate

I know the pain of having to make that decision to have your dog put to sleep. My husband and I had just that decision to make last week it was the most painful thing I have ever had to do. Reading your story helps, that someone else has loved so much and lost as we have makes us realise we are not alone in our grief. You are really brave to lay your feelings out so openly and I thank you for that. A friend of mine recommended that I look up the poem "If it should be..." and I found this a huge comfort you may take some comfort from it too. I wish you every happiness with your new furry friend.

Sep 07, 2011
Life's Purpose
by: Anonymous

I think it was brave of Antoinette to share all her feelings when it came to the love of her dog. I really wish her all the best in her life. And, Antoinette, if you read this, life is like a book. It has its joys, sorrows, loves and very deep pain; but at the end of the book, it's a great story and can have a great ending. I hope you as the author of your life's book will stick around and live your life's purpose and be able to look back and realize the joy and strength you've gained from your heartaches and hardships.

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